Let’s Just All Take a Breath 

September 16, 2026

by Mrs. Christine Shales, Lower School Head & Principal
  • M.P.A. in Public Administration, Notre Dame de Namur University, Belmont, CA
  • B.A. in Recreation, San Francisco State University
  • Teaching Credential, Notre Dame de Namur University, Belmont, CA
  • Administrative Credential, Notre Dame de Namur University, Belmont, CA

 

 

In schools, there are moments when we can almost see a child’s frustration building. A friend won’t play the game the way they want. A math problem feels impossible. Someone says something that hurts their feelings. They forgot their homework. They didn’t get the part they wanted in the play. Their shoelace won’t cooperate. The day is full of challenges, and something simply isn’t going according to the plan they imagined.

And often, before the child has even had a chance to figure out what to do next, a well-meaning adult is ready to step in. We instinctively want to fix it. We solve. We explain. We try to smooth the bumpy path.

As a parent and educator, I understand this instinct. We love our children, and watching them struggle can be painfully difficult. But lately, I have found myself coming back to one simple thought:

Let’s just all take a breath. Embrace the struggle and let them grow!

Not because the problem isn’t important. Not because a child’s feelings don’t matter. And certainly not because children shouldn’t turn to adults when they need help. But sometimes taking a breath and working through a difficult moment builds resilience.

Sometimes that little bit of space between “This is hard” and “Someone needs to fix this for me” is exactly where growth happens.

At Oakwood, we have been thinking a lot about how we intentionally help children develop the skills they will need long beyond the classroom. We want students who can tackle rigorous academics. But we also want young people who can navigate failure, solve problems, advocate for themselves, work through conflict, make mistakes, recover, and try again.

We want children who know they can do hard things. This doesn’t happen simply because we tell children to be resilient. Resilience has to be practiced.

At Oakwood, we approach this work from several directions and across every age and stage. Through Let’s Grow, our younger students are given opportunities to practice independence and discover what they are capable of doing for themselves. Through our Dignity work, students learn that they are part of a community where how we treat one another matters. My Happy Mind helps our younger students develop language and strategies to better understand their brains, emotions, and well-being. As students grow, Advisory and Crucial Conversations provide opportunities to deepen this work—creating space to talk about relationships, challenges, choices, and what it means to be a thoughtful member of a community where we all belong.

So much of growing up happens in the small, everyday moments—a disagreement with a friend, a mistake that needs to be owned, a disappointment, or something that simply feels hard. Our hope is to give students enough support to know they are not alone, while also giving them enough space to work through these moments on their own. Over time, those small experiences become the building blocks for confidence, kindness, and resilience.

This is also where being challenged, cherished, and known comes together. Children need to know there are people around them who care deeply about them and will be there when they truly need help. But being cherished doesn’t mean removing every obstacle, and being known means recognizing when a child needs our help—and when they might just need us to believe they can figure it out.

Sometimes our job is to step in. Sometimes it is to listen. And sometimes it is simply to give children a little more time and space to discover what they are capable of doing.

Because ultimately, we want our students to develop the confidence to do hard things, the resilience to regroup when things don’t go as planned, with kindness, dignity, and respect.

So the next time something feels hard—for our children or even for ourselves—maybe we don’t have to rush quite so quickly to fix it.

Let’s just all take a breath, regroup, and see what happens next.